People often say rebound relationships don’t work. I don’t agree as there are plenty of happy couples out there who met shortly after breaking up with someone else.

So what defines a rebound relationship? Usually it is where someone starts going out with another person very soon after leaving or being left by a former lover. If you have met somebody who seems to tick all the boxes you were looking for in a partner, I certainly would not dump them.   You could be dumped by the person who you thought was perfect for you, or by anyone that you meet in the not-too-distant future. It happens. There’s no point worrying about it.

Reasons for relationship breakup are a dime a dozen. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just because people cheat on each other. That’s the end result. The break up happens far earlier, when people drift apart or get bored of their current relationship. This is why most people actually break up in the first place. Couples who have been in the game for years face the boredom predicament. The initial excitement of dating someone new has long fizzled out. Their compatability wasn’t very high and in the end, to them it might have been like trying to fit a triangular peg through a square hole.

People who are newly single tend to be quite protective of their past, especially if it is “fresh”. If you are with someone who is fresh onto the dating scene after having been single for a long period of time, don’t push them into telling you why they became single. It’s not a good way to start a new relationship. For example, us men are particularly hesitant to talk about our feelings. It’s just in our nature. We know that women can get somewhat paranoid of self-conscious if we don’t speak up, but think about it: would we be with you in the first place if we didn’t find you attractive to some extent?  

I would also advise against asking to see a picture of the former partner. You do not want to start comparing yourself to them and it is difficult not to do this when you know what they look like. If you are part of the same social circle, it could be even harder not to draw comparisons. If you don’t do it yourself, you may find some of your mutual friends do. Try to discourage/ignore these conversations as they are unhelpful. Nobody knows what  happened between a couple other than those two people.    

If you are the one on the rebound you need to be sure of your motivation for getting involved. Are you looking for a short fling or a long term love affair?  Whatever you do, don’t get involved with another man to make your ex jealous or for revenge. It rarely works and it isn’t fair to play with the new persons emotions.

It’s not that rebound relationships are bad, it’s just that they’re not really that well understood. Only someone who’s just been broken up with knows just how it feels. It’s bound to happen and you never know. The person who’s been waiting for you all along might just be there at the right place at the right time to catch you.